Like We Were
Short Story / Written 5/26/04 / Rated PG

Actually, I don't think I ever officially released this story to the public. It was written shortly after Drev arrived, and it's a very powerful piece of the puzzle to his and Ainad's relationship. Ainad catches Drev spying on her and begs him to stay and hear her confession.

Ainad kissed Aire gently on the forehead after tucking her into her bed for the night. She smiled warmly before shutting off the light and leaving the room. He's here again.

Ever since Drev returned, her senses had been heightened, almost as if her magic power was increasing every day with the growing need to protect her family. It was now to the point where she could sense his presence. She couldn't tell what he'd look like or what form he'd take, but as soon as he entered the meadow, she knew it.

He'd been there nearly every night... maybe he was waiting for the right moment to strike? Maybe he was just biding his time? Either way, it made Ainad uneasy. She didn't want to tell anyone that he was there. After all, he hadn't caused her any trouble... yet. And she didn't want to bother anyone else with her problems. She never acted like anything was wrong for fear that Aire might notice. The last thing she needed was for Aire to be afraid...

With a heavy sigh, she straightened a pillow on the couch and looked out the living room window. She wondered where he was tonight; in a tree? Behind a rock? Swimming in the creek? Still mulling over possibilities, she left the living room and entered the kitchen to finish doing the dishes. It was hard to dry the glasses with her hands trembling like that. Why can't he just show himself and be over with it!? she wondered as she nearly dropped another glass. I know he's watching me through the window... why doesn't he just kill me now and put my nerves to rest!? Her body quivered as she peeked out the window in front of her for any hint of where he might be. Show yourself... she pleaded. Please... all this hiding is wearing me thin...

After nearly cracking a bowl by setting it too forcefully on the counter, she stopped drying the dishes. That's it, I can't take this anymore. Whipping up the dishrag from the sink, she stormed out of the kitchen, through the living room and out the front door. She walked a few paces down the front path and threw the dishrag at her feet. "Damnit, Drev!" she shouted, disturbing a few fireflies in the process. "I know you're out there! Show yourself!"

From a nearby tree, two yellow owl eyes were fixed on Ainad as she left the house and watched in awed admiration as she stood up so boldly. What the... how did she know I was here...? He wondered as he ruffled his feathers and remained hidden.

Ainad waited for a minute, hands stubbornly resting on her hips as she scanned the trees for the tenth time, expecting to see the large form of her brother appear from them. "Not coming out, eh?" she said as she narrowed her eyes to a glare. "Then just listen to me for a minute. You have to stop coming around here every night. Your spying on me is going to drive me crazy!"

She sighed and lowered her eyes to the dishrag that lay delicately on the grass. "I can sense you coming and going. I know you're here and I know you're listening to me... even though you'd probably deny it."

Damn straight. Thought Drev as he unfurled is wings, preparing to take flight. I don't need to listen to this.

"Wait!" Ainad shouted, "Before you go, just please hear me out!"

Drev paused and tilted his head to the side in an owl-like manner. He didn't want her to think he was interested in anything she had to say... but he did want to hear how she might explain herself.

Ainad remained still for a minute until she was assured he was staying. "Thank you..." she breathed as she folded her arms across the front of her as if she were uncomfortable with something she was about to say. "You have to understand, Drev..." she said almost too softly to make out. "I thought you were..." she choked and immediately clasp a hand over her mouth as if it would stop her from crying. "I thought you were dead!"

Drev narrowed his eyes at her but didn't move another muscle. He wanted to hear this one.

"Wh...when the war was over." she continued, "I begged my brother Grover to go look for you. He's a detective... I thought if anyone could find you, he could. He went up to the Citadel and had a look around, he talked with war buddies, anyone he could find and he never found you. The ones who knew you said you had been killed for treason." She shivered and wiped a few tears from her eyes. "I... I was devastated when he told me... I wished there was something I could have done to save you from being taken away that day, but there was nothing I could have done to help! You know my magic never really kicked in for me... not until a few years after you were taken away, anyway."

Drev sat petrified in his spot, this was new information. He had never heard of anyone going to look for him. He had been locked in a smaller, secret chamber in the back of the dungeon that would be undetectable unless one knew what to look for. It was no wonder no one ever found him - not even after the war when they purged the castle. As far as he knew, only the captain of the guard and a few of his assistants even knew it existed. Not even the king knew about the solitary confinement chambers...

Ainad's bottom lip quivered pitifully as she wiped her eyes and went on, "You have no idea how terrible I felt... It felt like I had lost a part of me, I missed you every day and mourned your loss. I spent a lot of time to myself crying, taking walks through our forest. I couldn't even bear to touch my flute anymore because it reminded me too much of you..."

Drev swallowed uncomfortably and made a small cough as Ainad continued to talk.

"I loved you..." she said, "You have no idea how excited I was to have a real brother - my own blood. You were everything I could have ever hoped for in a brother and it broke my heart to learn you were gone forever..." She fell to her knees and raised her eyes mournfully to the stars. "It... it was like I was all alone in the world again. You were the only one who understood how I felt..."

Drev stirred uneasily as pearly tears fell down Ainad's cheeks into her lap.

"A few years later I decided to leave." she said. "I left my home, moving far away from my family. Even being there reminded me of you. I had to leave so I could move on." She looked back towards her hands as she folded and unfolded the bottom of her apron in them. "That was when I first came to the Clan lands. I got just what I had hoped for: a chance to start over. I met Koarai and made several wonderful friends. I really made a name for myself and I never told anyone about you."

"It worked for a while, too. But every time I thought I might have finally forgotten about you, your memory popped up somewhere unexpected: a joke, a song, a story... little things seemed to remind me of you."

She sniffled pitifully and continued to wring her apron in her hands. "And whe... when you came back... I... I just didn't know what to think! Were you a ghost? Was I having a nightmare? That whole night seems like a blur now; it was hard for me to face the facts that you were still alive. How had Grover missed you? Where had you been all that time? And I was hurt because our reunion wasn't quite what I had expected or hoped for..."

Drev stood stubbornly on the tree branch, not moving at all, not knowing what to think.

Ainad sobbed, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't save you and I'm sorry I never found you. I tried... but I failed. I am so sorry, Drev. I know you're hurt and I don't blame you at all for it. I... I guess I just want you to know that I still love you and I want to see us be like we were..."

Drev's heart had never felt so heavy in his chest before, nor had it ever hurt this bad. Why is she doing this? he moaned. Things will never be the same between us...

Ainad held her face in her hands and spoke softly, "I want my brother back. I don't want to live in fear anymore. I want my family to be safe... I want you to meet them! I know you've changed, but I have too... and it doesn't matter to me. I know deep down underneath, you're still you."

Drev caught his breath in short gasps, trying not to make a sound. For a fleeting moment, he wanted nothing more than to forget everything and be her brother again. He wanted someone to talk to - someone who would listen. With all he'd been through? Ainad would accept him no matter what mistakes he'd made... she was offering him his own chance to start over. But was he ready for it?

He stared hard at her remorseful figure slouched in front of her house. What do I do? he wondered frantically. There's nothing I can say... I... I need to get away. I need to go think this over.

Without waiting another minute for fear of changing his mind, he beat his wings and took off into the dark forest, not sure of where he was going. It didn't matter to him as long as it was somewhere far from there.

Ainad gasped as she felt him leave, "No, wait!" she called out after him as she scrambled to her feet and spun around frantically trying to see where he might have gone. "Please..." she begged before she realized he wasn't coming back.

She watched sadly as a few fireflies danced in the yard to celebrate it being safe again and stooped to pick up her dishrag. Tears still falling silently, she retreated back into her house and finished drying the dishes. Only, this time, it was a little easier for her to manage.


The End



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