Gnome Wars
Harry Potter Fanfic / Written 3/26/02 / Rated PG
Harry Potter Characters and Concept © J.K. Rowling

This was a collaboration with Magoo42 (Ami) a friend from the Gryffindor Tower website while I frequented there x) Beware a lot of really strange references such as Magi-Nation, David the Gnome (90's Nikelodeon, anyone?), Smurfs, Star Wars, BJ Comics, Sailor Moon, Cowboy Beebop, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Sandman, Miracleman, X-Men, and Sockie Hockey. It had a lot of inside jokes at the time... now it's just weeeeeird xD

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It was a typical day in the Weasley household. Unfortunately, as Fred and George Weasley were on Easter Holidays from Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, they were left with very little to do. And as anyone who knew them could tell you, a bored pair of Weasley twins was a dangerous pair of Weasley twins.

Their brother, Ron noted the twins' absence, as he and his best friend conversed in the living room.

"I don't like it." said Ron as he fumbled with a piece of parchment. "When those two get bored, things are bound to happen... bad things..."

"Oh come on!" said Harry as he leaned back in the chair. "What could they possibly do that was worse than last time?"

Ron shuddered at the memory, "Don't even bring that up!" he said as he stood up. "I'm gonna find them and see what they're up to!"

Harry knew that in Ron's current mood, allowing him to go after Fred and George would be a disaster. And after what had happened last time, well, Harry had no intention of having to speak in rhyme for a week again. Following Ron out the door, he nearly crashed into Ginny who was entering the living room.

"Oh, sorry," Harry mumbled as he attempted to step around her.

"That's alright," she replied. "Having six brothers, I'm sort of used to it."

Luckily for them, or perhaps not, the awkward pause in their conversation was interrupted by a loud explosion coming from the front yard. Harry and Ginny raced outside, just in time to see Fred and George set off a Filibuster Firework in one of the gnome holes, and to hear Ron yelling at them to watch out for his things that were scattered all across the yard.

"Eek!" screamed Ginny as dirt flew everywhere. "Stupid gits! What have you done?"

Harry shielded his eyes from falling debris as he saw Ron take off after Fred and George in a typical Weasley rage.

"Mum's going to kill them," said Ginny. "Look at this mess!"

She had barely finished stating the obvious when a large pair of beady eyes appeared out of the large crater in the ground.

"What the?" asked Harry as the pair of eyes was followed soon by another, and another, and another.

Some strange noises were coming from the crater as the creatures emerged; the short, vile brown creatures that were the Weasleys' garden gnomes.

"Uhh..." said Harry as he took a step backwards. "They don't look very happy..."

Ginny cursed under her breath, "They think we did it! Fred and George got chased away by Ron and we're the only ones here!"

The gnomes piled out of the crater one by one and started towards Harry and Ginny.

"Run!" shouted Harry as he and Ginny turned on their heels and began to run.

They were too late. The tiny little brown creatures soon swarmed all over them, more appearing every second. Soon, the two young Gryffindors were completely surrounded. Ginny got to her wand first, but a flash of light from the nearest gnome soon disarmed her. Harry's wand soon followed suit. Still struggling, the sheer numbers overwhelmed them, and they were carried to the dark caverns below.

The sheer number of tunnels that seemed to run under the Weasleys' property was mind-boggling. They seemed to extend for miles. It was likely that a person could spend their whole life wandering around and never encounter the same passageway twice. They were low to the ground and dimly lit. In fact, Harry and Ginny were hitting the cavern roof with every step. They were in deep trouble this time. This was most certainly worse then a night of polishing the trophy room.

Harry and Ginny had given up struggling as they realized they were out-numbered by the hundreds. Harry was worried that the gnomes might do something bad to him... or worse, to Ginny. Ever since the incident in the Chamber of Secrets, he had kept a watchful eye over her. It was almost as if he were her seventh brother!

He wondered where the gnomes were taking them. Gnome jail, gnome torture house, gnome TV room with endless episodes of mindless cartoons and annoying songs? What ever it was, Harry feared the worst.

The dark hallways began to widen as they approached a large lit room. Ginny gasped as they entered. It was like and underground palace!

"Whoa!" said Harry as a tumult of gnome chatter rose around them.

Harry couldn't understand a word that was being said... the only thing he could make out was something about... banana fish?

A few gnomes tackled Ginny and Harry to the ground and placed two small golden bracelets on them.

"There." One of them said in a burley voice. "Although it's more than you deserve!"

"I... I can understand you!" said Harry as he examined the golden bracelet.

"It's a translation bracelet." said the other gnome. "You are to meet with our leader, David, King of the Gnomes!"

Harry and Ginny exchanged a glance, but before either had a chance to say anything, they were dragged off into another chamber. A fox stood guarding it, which then moved aside to allow them entry.

From the outside, the chamber looked plain, but inside was an entirely different story. Pieces of half-assembled machines and tools were scattered everywhere. Gnomes were running all over the place engaged in various quests. They were almost all of the regular garden gnome variety, except for the one sitting on a throne in the center of the room. This gnome looked like a miniature old man, with a long flowing beard, dressed all in blue with a red pointed cap on his head.

"So!" he said in English. "These are the two responsible for causing all the devastation at site number 42?"

Harry gulped loudly and looked at Ginny. She looked slightly nervous and overwhelmed by the number of gnomes, but she also looked angry and that scared Harry. Ginny was a Weasley after all and that meant bad temper.

"We didn't do it!" She shouted at the small man in the silly hat. "It was my idiot brothers and we just happened to be in the wrong place at the wring time!"

The David the Gnome looked surprised at her outburst. He raised an eyebrow and a few armed gnomes moved closer threateningly.

Harry shut his eyes tightly awaiting Ginny's wild outburst. He had to admire her spunk! After all, it wasn't just anyone who would yell at the gnome king. It was kind of scary now that he thought of it...

David stood up and stared at her with malice in his eyes. "Dare you talk to the gnome king like that?" he roared as the massive room calmed to a hush.

Ginny glared back. "Your gnomes kidnapped Harry and myself while we were innocent! I think I have a right to talk to you like that!"

David raised another eyebrow. "I like your spirit, young lady. If you say you didn't destroy Plot 42, I will believe you and I will get my gnomes to take you back to your dwelling."

Harry stared at David wide-eyed. They were off the hook? Wow, that was almost too easy...

"Your Highness!" yelled a frantic gnome as it stumbled into the chamber. It looked very disheveled (in a gnomish sort of way) and it was breathing hard.

"They're attacking! The northern tunnels are swarmed with them! We need reinforcements!"

A group of armored gnomes rushed over to their worn comrade and the room burst into cries of anger and war.

"What's going on?" asked Harry as he was surrounded by gnomes hustling all over the place.

"Smurfs." said David with a scowl on his face. "Our most hated enemies, and they've taken the northern tunnels! Come! We haven't a moment to lose!"

Before you could say Mischief Managed the gnomes had dragged the two young Gryffindors out of the royal chamber and were heading back into the tunnel maze once again. From far off, they could hear tiny squeaky voices singing "La la la la la la, Smurf the whole day long. La la la la la la, Sing a happy song. La la la la la la…." And it repeated, over and over and over again.

Soon, Ginny couldn't take it anymore. "Is there anyway you can stop that noise?" she shouted.

The gnomes looked apologetic. "Our most sincere apologies," David the gnome said. "But there is nothing that can be done about it. Just consider yourself lucky that it has not gotten stuck in your head yet. Ami there," he continued, gesturing to one of the female (and might I add the prettiest) gnomes, "has had it stuck in her head since September 8th, and due to the constant singing, has been unable to get it stuck out of her head."

"The poor dear," Ginny whispered. "That is definitely a fate worse then death."

The Smurf song was drawing ever closer. Soon the Smurfs would be right on top of them. "Hurry!" shouted the king. "We can't let the evil blue misogynistic demons get the better of us."

But it was too late. The Smurfs were right on top of them.

Ginny screamed as a psychotic Smurf jumped on top of her and started clawing at her hair.

Harry's mouth fell wide at the sight of them. They were short and blue, but they had a strange look to them. They looked like a typical innocent American cartoon, but they reflected a type of evil. This evil was worse then anything he had felt from Voldemort!

With a sudden surge of pain he grabbed his head. "My scar!" he yelled as his head filled with the pounding of drums. "The evilness of it all!" Before he knew what he had done, he had hit the Smurf off of Ginny.

Ginny looked impressed. "Look how far they fly with just a little smack!" she hit one and it flew a good distance.

All around them, the gnomes were holding their ground as the horrid song grew louder and louder.

Harry and Ginny just began to swing their arms. Being bigger, they had a slight advantage. They just began to bitchslap their way through the barrier of blue demons. After they had reached the edge of the small war, they looked back. "What do we do now?" Ginny asked Harry as she looked at him. "I mean, I feel bad leaving them and we don't know how to get out of here! We could be lost forever!"

Harry looked back at the fight and winced at the pain his scar felt. "I... I can't, it hurts a lot!"

"Oh Harry!" said Ginny as she moved closer to him. "Your scar! The blue things have an effect on your scar!"

Harry nodded painfully. Ginny stretched out a hand and brushed his hair aside. "Okay, let's find a way out of here."

After many an effort, the two young heroes managed to escape from the main battle scene and return to the underground maze. There was only one problem. Where did the go from here?

Harry considered for a few minutes. "That way!" he declared, pointing to the tunnel on the far left.

"Alright," Ginny replied. Yet for some reason she turned to the right.

"Uh, Ginny?"

"Its rather simple Harry, you're a male. Males have no sense of direction. Therefore, if we go in the exact opposite of the way you think we should be going, we'll get out safely." Ginny said in a calm tone.

Harry shrugged. This was obviously something that no guy should ever try to argue with. So he followed Ginny into the underground maze.

They continued to walk for what must have been hours, following Ginny's supposed system the whole way. At times it seemed they were walking in circles, and Harry was just about to protest when they saw a stream of light up ahead. They raced towards it, and came to the surface….

IN THE MIDDLE OF MUGGLE LONDON?!?!

"What the..." said Harry as they shielded their eyes from the sunlight. "Where are we?"

"Great!" said Ginny. "We'll never get back now!"

"Sure we will." said Harry as he looked at her with a fake smile trying to reflect hope. "Um, we'll just need to get a taxi or something."

"What's that?" asked Ginny as she pointed across the street. "There's a banner, what does it say?"

Harry strained his eyes to read it. "Looks like some type of party... It reads ‘Sci-Fi Convention Today'"

"Sci-Fi?" asked Ginny. "Is that some Muggle thing?"

"Yeah." said Harry. "It's pretty neat too. I used to steal Dudley's comic books and read them. Of course now that I live real-life fantasy..."

"I wanna see!" said Ginny as her eyes sparkled. "A Muggle Convention? It sounds so cool!"

He grabbed Harry's hand. "Please, Harry?"

Harry smiled and felt his face turn a little red. "Uhh, okay."

They walked across the street and saw the Convention's set up. There were people everywhere! Most of them were very odd looking, wearing costumes and the like. Ginny was particularly excited with a Wookie while Harry liked the Gundam set-up the best.

It was kind of cute to see Ginny so excited, Harry thought. She was thrilled to see the Muggles all dressed up and talking about strange comics, shows, book series. This was obviously a strange breed of Muggles.

They were examining a model of a spaceship when they heard a loud, annoying voice behind them.

"Ooh, Draco! Won't you come with me to the anime section?"

Harry and Ginny turned around to see something they definitely did not expect to see, Draco, at a Muggle convention with an odd-looking girl hanging on his arm. Draco looked disgusted.

"For the last time!" he said as he tried to shake her off. "Leave me alone!"

Harry raised an eyebrow at Ginny and she giggled.

Draco looked up and saw them for the first time "Potter!" he said as panic flashed in his eyes. "Wha... what are you doing here with..." He gained a smug smile. "... With Weasley?"

Ginny growled at him, but Harry stepped between them. "I should ask you the same thing, Malfoy."

"I'm uh... working... so what's this, your first date? Is Weasley too poor to go anywhere nice for dinner?"

Harry blushed. On a date with Ginny? He had never thought of it that way... He wondered if she thought of it as a date too.

"What about your girlfriend, Malfoy?" asked Ginny as fire flickered in her eyes and she motioned to the girl who was beaming at Draco. She was obviously not all there because there was a small amount of drool creeping out the side of her mouth. Her hair was in two sloppy Sailor Moon buns and she was really short.

"Shut up!" said Draco as he tried to shake the girl off again. "She, like, hasn't let go of me all night!"

The girl giggled and hugged Draco's arm even tighter.

Harry made a face. This girl was just... weird.

"Wait a minute." Said Ginny as she looked at Draco harder. "I know why you're here! I've heard about this before!"

Draco squirmed and looked even more uncomfortable. "What should you care, Weasley? Your Muggle-loving father got you as his assistant now?"

Ginny smiled evilly and lowered down to Draco's companion's level. "What's your name, hun?"

The girl giggled again and some drool dripped from her mouth onto Draco's sleeve. "F" she said.

"F?" they all stared at her. "Your name is F?"

"Yah." she said. "Why not?"

"Oh, never mind." Said Ginny as she looked at F and then whispered something to her. "What did you say, Weasley?" asked an enraged Draco as he tried to shake F off of his arm again.

"Nothing." Said Ginny sweetly as she grabbed Harry and dragged him away leaving Draco staring after them.

"What?" asked Harry. "What just happened there?"

"Draco's here for initiation." she said as she shook her head. "I should probably stop him, but I'll let F mess with him for a while."

"Initiation?" asked Harry. "Initiation for what?" Sometimes he felt so clueless when it came to Wizarding ways.

"The Death Eaters." Said Ginny plainly. "To get accepted, you have to go to a Muggle gathering and cause trouble. It'll be hard for him with F hanging on his arm like that." Harry stared at her incredulously. "Okay..."

"I told her Draco likes girls that are loyal to him and never leave his side. I almost feel sorry for that girl. Pitiful human being, and no taste in men."

Harry raised an eyebrow and Ginny blushed.

"Even still," Harry said. "We don't know how long that girl will be able to distract him. We should probably follow them."

Ginny stared at Harry in horror. "You expect me to spend my first time at a Muggle convention following that rotten Slytherin? You sure know how to treat a girl on a day out Harry."

Harry blushed. "Uh, well…" he stammered.

Ginny grinned at him. "That's alright. We should follow him, just to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone. I'd never forgive myself," she said in a more solemn tone. "If someone got hurt because of me."

"Ginny," Harry began, taking her by the hand.

"Forget it!" she snapped. "It's over and done with. I don't want to think about it anymore."

Harry sighed. He promised himself that somehow he would bring the topic back up later. For now though, they had a mission to accomplish.

For over an hour, the two young Gryffindors trailed Draco and F throughout the convention. They passed booths selling Cowboy Bebop clocks, models of the TARDIS from Dr. Who, Prosthetic Star Trek Vulcan ears, models of the Death Star, and other assorted merchandise. Throughout their little tour, Harry had to spend nearly as much time dragging Ginny away as she was fascinated by the geek culture that permeated the Muggle world.

Apparently, she had inherited her father's obsession with Muggles, and was asking question after question after question, trying to find out every last detail about how the different objects worked, as well as the movies, television and comic books they were based on.

"What comic is that Harry?" she would ask. And of course he didn't know the answer. Luckily though, the comic geeks around were more then willing to provide answers. "That's an issue of Sandman by Neil Gaiman," one would say. "Or that's an ultra-rare Miracleman number three. A bargain at only 420 pounds."

Soon though, Ginny's questions made them lose sight of Draco and the girl with the meatballs on her head. They ran from place to place trying to locate them. Soon, they caught sight of meatball head, otherwise known as the girl called F. She was sitting in a corner, crying her eyes out.

"What happened?" Ginny called over to her.

"Draco!" she sobbed. "He, he, he dumped me" and with that final word her wailing reached decibels that were previously thought unreachable by human vocal chords. Harry and Ginny exchanged a glance and begin to run around the convention wildly, looking for Draco. Soon they caught sight of him. His wand was out and he was imitating the World Cup of the previous summer, holding a girl dressed as a Vulcan ensign on Star Trek over his head and twirling her around, so that her skirt flapped up in the air.

Harry knew he had to stop this somehow. Grabbing an item off the nearest table, he threw it at Draco. He hit Draco straight in the mouth with a pair of underwear? Draco gagged. "Strawberry?" he managed to gasp out, dropping the Muggle on the ground with a thump. Both of her prosthetic ears fell off, and attached themselves in a rather conspicuous place on his...

Trousers. Ginny squealed in horror and covered her eyes as the prosthetic ears conveniently attached themselves to Draco's... er... trousers.

Harry stifled a laugh of amusement as F ran up to Draco's rescue and began to "help" him. Draco was screaming in protest and Sci-Fi fans were everywhere asking Draco about his "magic trick".

"Let's get out of here." said Harry as he took Ginny's hand. "The Ministry will deal with him."

They were just about to make their grand escape when they heard a loud thump below their feet. "What the?" Harry managed to query before the street burst open to reveal a horde of small creatures.

Gnomes and Smurfs crawled everywhere bitchslapping each other and yelling gnomish and smurfish profanities.

Sci-Fi fans began taking pictures quickly. "Oooh!" said a girl as she ran up and picked up a gnome. This is better than X-Men!"

Harry and Ginny were quickly surrounded by a mass of sounds. Draco screaming in agony as F climbed all over him, Sci-Fi fans taking pictures, the squeals of a small group of Spock-eared tykes asking for Smurf autographs, and the war itself was enough to drive even Dumbledore mad.

Harry threw his head back, "DOES TROUBLE JUST FOLLOW ME EVERY WHERE I GO OR WHAT?"

As if in reply, a Smurf jumped on his face and began to claw and tear at him. "AARRGGH!" he screamed as its sharp nails dug at him.

Before he could pull it off, he felt a sharp sting on his cheek. He opened his eyes and saw Ginny, with her hand outstretched, looking horrified.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Harry!" she said. "I was trying to get it off and I accidentally slapped you!"

Harry smiled weakly, "No problem. Thanks." That had been a sharp hit. If only she would use that strength on the Smurfs...

The fighting seemed to be everywhere. No matter where you turned, the tiny little pests were in your way. Finally, Ginny's Weasley temper got the better of her.

"THAT. IS. QUITE. ENOUGH!!!!" she stormed.

Everything froze, gnome, Smurf and Muggle alike. Harry stared at Ginny in shock. How had she managed to sound so like a howler without the use of any magic was beyond him. But she wasn't finished yet.

"You," she said, pointing to the nearest pair of combatants. "What exactly is this war about anyway?"

They paused to consider. "Umm…., well, the thing is…it's been so long, no one really remembers anymore."

Ginny looked appalled. "You mean to tell me that you've been fighting, and you don't even know why?"

"I do," one of the Smurfs called.

Harry looked at him. "And you are?" he inquired.

"I'm Handy smurf, they call me that because I'm handy with uh…my equipment! That's right, my equipment. I'm very good at raising and building things."

"Ok Handy Smurf," Ginny said icily. "What exactly is the cause of war between the Smurfs and the Gnomes?"

"Well, it's real simple Miss, you see a long time ago the Smurfs and the Gnomes used to have an interspecies Sockie Hockey League. Then one day, on the day of the Cup, someone cheated! The game didn't happen. And it's all because of those gnomes. (And by the way miss, should you ever want a tour of my equipment, I'll be happy to oblige)"

"Oh Handy," a blonde female Smurf giggled. "I'll see your equipment any time."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Have you ever considered a rematch?" he asked. Both sides considered for a moment, and then shook their heads.

"Perhaps," David the Gnome said. "That would be the prudent course of action. We shall play Sockie Hockey now, and to the victor of the game goes the war."

Within a few moments, they exited. This was great for Harry and Ginny, who were now faced with the daunting task of placing memory charms on several hundred Muggles without wands. And of course, they still had Draco to deal with. Luckily though, he was unconscious in the corner, having been badly bitch-slapped by the gnomes.

The gnomes and smurfs led Harry and Ginny back into the underground abyss.

"We'll take you to a Sockie Hockey field." said gnome next to them. "We've kept them in good shape all these years, just in case."

"You know." said Harry to the gnome. "It surprises me how civilized you gnomes are. I mean, I just to think you were mindless garden pets, but I think you're actually very intelligent."

A few gnomes blushed and looked utterly pleased as they continued to walk.

They reached another large room in the underground tunnels, but this was no chamber, this was a field!

"It... it looks just like a normal field!" Ginny stuttered as they took in the scenery. A large green landscape stood before them, there was a large field-like structure in the center of the landscape and there were bleachers on either side.

Harry bent down to feel the ground. "Astroturf?" he asked. "You use Astroturf for your playing fields?"

A gnome looked at him confusedly. "Why not? Astroturf is the greatest thing ever invented by man. It requires no care and it looks spiffy!"

Harry looked at Ginny who suppressed a giggle and they went to go sit in the stands. "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, gnomes and smurfs to Mile Low Stadium! Today we will have the match that has been awaited for ages, the GS Cup!" boomed a loud voice. "The best Sockie Hockey players from both the Gnomes and the Smurfs will be paired up against each other in a match for the cup. Winner takes all!"

Ginny pointed to two figures walking out onto the field, both holding a strange object.

Every thousand gnome and Smurf stood up and cheered loudly. "Here come the leaders with the cup!" the announcer boomed again. "Davd, King of the Gnomes, and Papa Smurf will now shake hands to signify the beginning of the match."

Papa and David tentatively shook hands and the crowd burst into cheers. "Let the games begin!"

The gnomes around Harry and Ginny began to bounce up and down as Sockie was brought out.

"I don't get it." said Harry. "What's a Sockie?"

Two teams entered the field. "First up!" the Lady Cat continued. "Playing for the gnomes, Cedric and Aery the Scorers! And, the fabulous keeper, AMI!!!!!!" The gnomes waved to everyone and glared at their opponents across the way. "Next up, playing for the Smurfs we have the scorers, Royal Bartender Smurf and Bovine Smurf! And the Keeper, Pirate Rose Smurf!" The crowd went wild at the two teams approach.

"Next up," Lady Cat continued. "The Puck herself, our fabulous pink toed SOCKIE!!!!!" The crowd went wild, cheering for the sock. Even Harry and Ginny became caught up in the insanity.

"Sockie, Sockie, Sockie, Sockie, Sockie, Sockie, Sockie, Sockie, SOCKIE, SOCKIE, SOCKIE, SOCKIE, SOCKIE, SOCKIE, SOCKIE, SOCKIE, SOCKIE!!!!!" the chanting grew out of control as the puck zoomed into the arena.

"3," the announcer called. "2…." The crowd shivered in antici "1!!!!!"

The scorers lunged forward. Bovine Smurf managed to grab Sockie one second before Cedric the gnome did. The crowd hushed as Sockie made her announcement. "Say it!" someone called. "Bovine Smurf has me!" she squealed. "Pation!" one of the Smurfs, who identified themselves as Rocky Horror Smurf, called out.

Bovine Smurf, now assured that he had Sockie raced toward the goal. He passed it to the bartender who returned it quickly. "Intent!" shouted Bovine Smurf.

"BLOCKIE!!!!" returned Ami the gnome.

The crowd went wild either cheering for the wonderful block or sobbing that the Smurfs hadn't scored. The game went on for hours, with neither side scoring (due to the sheer brilliance of the keepers on both sides.) All seemed to be going well until...

"What are you talking about Sockie Puck? I laid hands on you first!"

"You did not! Sockie said I had her!"

"Well, I know what I saw and I have Sockie!"

"You do NOT!"

"You're cheating again, just like you did the last time we played."

The match was starting to get out of control. The puck managed to zoom off the field mere moments before the fighting broke out. Harry and Ginny desperately tried to find their way out of the stadium, but they were unsuccessful.

"Need a toe?" a voice asked. They turned to see the puck behind them. "I can guide you out if you'd like."

"Yes please Sockie," Ginny replied.

Suddenly Harry cried, "SOCKIE!!!" Then he paused. "Why did I just do that?" he asked curiously.

"Oh!" Sockie giggled. "That's just my magic. I'll tell you about it as we walk."

So Sockie led our heroes through the tunnels, explaining them the history of SOCKIE until they returned to site 42, the burrow hole.

"Here's where I leave you!" Sockie squealed. "I hope to see you again!!!" Then she zoomed off, leaving Harry and Ginny alone in the tunnels.

Ginny blushed and brushed some hair behind her ears. "That was... that was about the wildest day I've ever had!"

Harry smiled, "Even living with living in a family like yours?" Ginny giggled, "Yeah, even my family isn't as weird as all those gnomes and Smurfs!"

Harry smiled back at her, and suddenly realized for the first time that Ginny was something special. She was more than Ron's little sister. There are certain experiences that unite people forever, and apparently surviving the great Gnome/Smurf war was one of them. Wrestling a troll might make people like each other, but surviving the Smurf War made them fall in love.

Ginny's eyes slowly looked up into Harry's and they looked deeply into him. It was almost as if she was searching for answers, answers to the same questions Harry was asking himself. Before he knew what he was doing, he took a step closer to her and took her hand in his. "Ginny, I..." He mentally kicked himself for being so lame. "Ginny, I'm afraid I'm falling in love with you." Ginny blinked and looked completely surprised.

"Harry," she began, and then paused. "Oh, bugger this!" she muttered, grabbing him and kissing him passionately.

Harry, who was immediately kissed out of his senses had to struggle to stay standing. When Ginny was done, she giggled. "What?" he asked breathlessly. "You're so cute." she said. "You're just simply adorable!"

Harry smiled and felt his cheeks turn red. "Umm, is that a good thing?"

Ginny nodded. "It certainly is, Mr. Potter," she replied. This time though, it was her turn to be made breathless, as Harry swept her into his arms and kissed her. It was the sort of kiss one only saw in movies. A kiss of true love.

They stayed that way, locked into a passionate embrace until a very irate voice called out, "HARRY JAMES POTTER! VIRGINIA WEASLEY! WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING???"

The entire bloodline of the Weasley family seemed to be there. Bill, the twins, Charlie, Mrs. Weasley, Percy, and worst of all, Ron, were staring down into the hole with complete and utter suprise. Harry and Ginny both broke away from each other like lightning and shielded their eyes as they looked up.

"Er.. well... see... it's like...." Harry started to explain as Ginny grabbed his arm and pulled him out of her way.

"FRED AND GEORGE!!" she screeched as she stormed towards the opening into the human world. "JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!